


How All Stars 3 Should Have Gone

by DaviesInTheMaking



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 21:38:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15495216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaviesInTheMaking/pseuds/DaviesInTheMaking
Summary: I was extraordinarily frustrated with how All Stars 3 went, primarily with the bullshit jury thing, and since my mom's favorite queen was Ben and I love Morgan, I figured I'd write a thing where neither one of them leaves. I know this is long and I apologize for that, but putting it all in one thing works better than splitting it into chapters because the various sections aren't long enough for chapters of their own. Let me know what you think.





	How All Stars 3 Should Have Gone

“And which All Star are you choosing to give the chop?”

Ben sighed deeply. She hated this part—having to eliminate people—and it never got easier. In fact, it got harder every time. Everyone was just so good and it hurt her having to crush someone’s dreams over and over again. She knew it was just part of the game and that she’d signed up for it, but she still hated having to do it. It made her wish that she wasn’t in the top two. 

“Everyone here is so amazing and every week, this gets harder and harder. I don’t wanna hurt anyone’s feelings because I really do love and respect every one of these queens, but the one I’ve chosen to eliminate…” She pulled the lipstick out of her bra and showed it to Ru, “…is Kennedy.”

She couldn’t look at Ru or Kennedy and barely looked up when Kennedy hugged her. 

“It’s okay. I understand.”

Ben just nodded, unable to say anything around the rock in her throat. She forced herself not to cry because she knew she shouldn’t, but it felt like she’d just carved off part of her heart. It felt like that every time she had to eliminate a horrible feeling. But she knew she shouldn’t complain. She was winning and fighting hard and showing herself what she could do, and that was good, that was what she’d wanted to do, but it still hurt because winning meant sending someone home. At least she’d gotten to bring Morgan back. And that was a good thing. 

It was also hard, though, having to always try and pretend that she wasn’t hurting, that she was perfectly fine and happy with winning. Granted, she hadn’t really done that the last couple of days, but for the most part she did, and it was hard. It was hard to try and be the chronically optimistic BenDeLaCreme when all she wanted to do was lie in bed and stare at the wall. 

She was grateful and relieved when she saw that Kennedy had left a nice message on the mirror. 

“’I love all y’all. Never stop being yourselves and never apologize—Kennedy’. Ohh, we’ll miss you, Kennedy,” Ben said as she wiped the message away. 

“We’ll miss you,” the other girls echoed. 

Shangela looked way more devastated than the others and that heartbroken look sent a fresh spike of guilt through Ben’s heart. She knew Shangela and Kennedy were really close and she hated herself for hurting her like that.

“Well, congratulations, DeLa, for winning again,” Trixie said as they moved to the couches.

“Congratulations,” the others echoed and clapped and Ben forced herself to smile. 

“And thank you for bringing me back,” Morgan said gratefully, placing a hand on Ben’s arm. “I really didn’t expect to be the one brought back.”

Ben waved away her thanks. “Oh, of course. You know, this show is about more than just winning, it’s a chance for us to showcase our talents and what we can do and I really didn’t feel like you’d gotten enough of a chance to do that.”

“Bebe, whose lipstick did you pull?” Shangela asked, still looking forlorn. 

Bebe pulled the lipstick out of her bra. “I chose Kennedy as well. And I chose Kennedy because she’d been in the bottom more than Trixie and more than you and I felt that you two had more to offer as performers than Kennedy did.”

“Kennedy’s an amazing performer,” Trixie said. “The problem is we’re all amazing, so it’s really hard to choose who should go home.”

“Who would you have brought back?” Morgan asked Bebe. 

She pulled the other lipstick from her bra. “I would have brought back Aja because I really do feel that she is a beautiful and talented queen who would have deserved a second chance in this competition.”

“And you felt bad about sending her home,” Trixie remarked. 

They laughed and talked a bit more and there was some chatting while everyone was getting out of drag, but Ben couldn’t stop looking over and seeing Shangela so sad that it seemed like someone had killed her puppy. 

\---------------------------

The next day, after a thankfully good night of sleep, Ben was super excited and happy to see congresswoman Nancy Pelosi. She was also excited about the challenge and even more happy and relieved that she didn’t have to assign roles. 

“I can already see by the description, I’d love to have Actavia,” Shangela declared the second they sat down. 

“I’m gonna read through it first,” Morgan replied, looking at her script. 

“Okay. Sorry.”

They all read through the script and Ben was privately relieved that Shangela seemed to be in a better place than she was yesterday. 

“I would love to have Actavia,” Shangela repeated after they’d all finished the script, “but I would be fine with Sharon because Sharon looks like a lot of dialogue and I’m good at memorizing a lot in a very short amount of time.”

“I think I want La La or Beige Swan, but I really like La La,” Trixie put in. 

“DeLa?” Morgan asked without looking at Ben. 

“Um, I would really be good with whoever. I’m not picky.”

“I would love to try La La,” Trixie reiterated. “I went to school for musical theater and I feel like I know this girl.”

Morgan continued looking at the script. “How about Bebe doing the Queen?”

“Seems fitting,” Shangela muttered under her breath.

“I like Beige Swan,” Morgan continued, “’cause I’m, you know, a mantle anyway.”

Shangela laughed a bit at that and Morgan looked at her. “You can do Actavia…”

“Thank you.”

Morgan looked over at Ben. “You’ve done a lot with musicals, so you can do La La and Sharon Frockavich can be Trixie.”

Ben could see that Trixie was upset and she wanted to offer to switch roles, but she also didn’t wanna challenge Morgan. And, objectively, the role of La La did make more sense for Ben since she’d had experience with professional theater and musicals and Trixie had only done theater in school. Trixie was amazingly talented, but when it came to theater, Ben could just do it better. 

She felt better about the assigned roles when Trixie did an amazing job and seemed to really enjoy being Sharon Frockavich. Ben even thought that Trixie did a better job than her. So did Shangela. She really hoped that those two would win instead of her. She just felt bad for how Morgan and Bebe didn’t do great. She’d hoped that Morgan would do better and she knew she could, but she just wasn’t pulling it out like she should. And Bebe wasn’t really being a funny character, she was just being Bebe. Ben was worried for both of them.

\------------------------------------------

“Tell you what,” Trixie announced as they were getting into makeup for the runway show, “after Adam Lambert last week, I was trying to smile at Rose the whole time.”

Morgan looked over at her. “Were you bothered when Adam said that you were standoffish?”

“Well, only because people have told me before that my tone is just so dry that they thought I was angry.”

“Sometimes, Trix-a-licious, you don’t mean to give that off—” Shangela started. 

“Yeah,” Trixie said. 

“—but it’s unintentional.”

“Well, oh, girl, because perception is reality. Our whole industry is interpersonal communication. If you’re not friendly enough, someone thinks you’re a jerk. Remember that thing in West Hollywood, Morgan? I got tweets from other Drag Race girls saying that I was acting grand.”

“Mm-hmm,” Morgan replied. 

“I’m not super social, so a lot of times, I’m just saving it for the audience.”

“They say that about me,” Bebe put in. “’Oh, she’s too bougie.’”

“Bebe, you don’t think you come off a little bougie?” Shangela asked in surprise. 

“Do you think I do, girl?” Bebe asked back, genuine confusion in her voice.

“Ye-es. You are a little bougie and you give the girls looks. Like this.”

Ben looked over to see Shangela doing a hilarious and accurate impression of Bebe’s looks and she burst out laughing with everyone else. 

“I have this side that is always very regal, but—”

“Oh, yeah,” Shangela interrupted. 

“—I am very goofy,” Bebe finished. 

“Momma, I know. I’m not—Please don’t take this the wrong way, I’m not saying that’s—”

Bebe laughed a bit. “No, no, not at all.”

“—I’m just saying you do have an air.” She gave another impression of Bebe’s looks and Bebe laughed again. 

“Oh, she can’t be bothered. Okay,” Shangela joked, causing Bebe to laugh some more. 

“See, I’m the opposite,” Morgan jumped in, looking up from her eyeliner. “My favorite thing in the entire world is when I’m at Mickey’s and there’s girls in the audience and I get to bring them upon stage, even if it’s just to watch—”

“You’re very that girl,” Shangela told her. “You will call out girls even though we don’t wanna be called out sometimes.”

“Girl, I’m trying to hide,” Trixie said with a laugh. “I like to go to drag shows where they don’t know I’m there and they don’t know, you know…I just wanna see the drag show.”

“My thing is,” Bebe said, “I really—My features are so distinct, as soon as I open my voice, you’re like ‘Oooh’.”

“What’s your take on it, DeLa?” Morgan asked her. 

She looked up in surprise and turned to Morgan, just looking at her for a moment. “Uumm, I mostly enjoy just kind of fading into the background, I guess. Like, when I’m in drag, I’m pretty introverted, so unless I’m performing, I like to just keep to myself and watch the show.”

“Yeah, see?” Trixie said. “It’s nice to just stay out of the spotlight when you’re not getting paid to be in it.”

“Well, you’re certainly great at being in the spotlight when you wanna be,” Morgan told Ben. 

“Thank you, Morgan. So are you,” she replied with pure sincerity. 

Morgan rolled her eyes and went back to her makeup. 

“You are,” she insisted emphatically. 

Morgan turned back to her and gave her a small, soft smile and it was the first time Ben had seen her without any trace of hardness. “Thanks, DeLa.”

She smiled at the soft, genuine tone in her voice. “You’re welcome. I just hope you bring it next week,” she added in a jovial tone.

They all laughed a bit and Morgan turned back to her mirror. “If I even make it to next week.”

Ben didn’t reply, she just hoped Morgan would still be there the next day. 

\--------------------------------------------------

“Based on the judges’ critiques, I’ve made some decisions. Shangela, Trixie Mattel, condragulations, you are the top two All Stars of the week.”

Shangela and Trixie cheered quietly before RuPaul continued. 

“You have each one a one-thousand-dollar gift card from Elea’s Closet and a set of luggage from Raden luggage. This week, if you’re not in the top, you’re in the bottom. That means Bebe, DeLa, Morgan, you are the bottom three. Shangela, Trixie, each of you needs to decide which of the bottom three you’ll eliminate if you win the lip sync. So, while you queens deliberate in the workroom, the judges and I will be contacting our representatives. Thank you, ladies you may leave the stage.”

Ben wasn’t sad that she was up for elimination. In fact, she was relieved. She hated having to be the one to decide who should go home and it was nice to be able to leave that decision to someone else. And if she was the one Trixie or Shangela decided to send home, then so be it. 

The others looked so shocked, though, that she was in the bottom. But it made sense because if you weren’t in the top, then you were in the bottom and Trixie and Shangela had just done better than her. 

They all got their cocktails and sat down on the center sofas and Trixie immediately turned to Bebe. “If my face looked like yours right now, I would never cover it up in my life. You look so beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Bebe said with her usual regal air. 

“You look like Ornacia, but—”

She was interrupted by Morgan’s cackles and Bebe just looked at her in confusion. 

“Who’s Ornacia?” she asked. “I don’t know who that is.”

They were all quiet for a minute before Trixie turned to the other girls. “She’s fully never seen Drag Race.”

“The mannequin head, girl,” Shangela reminded Bebe.

“Bebe won Drag Race and stopped watching it,” Trixie said, causing the others to laugh.

“No, no, it’s not that,” Bebe protested vehemently.

“Would you guys like to sit on a sofa and possibly cry?” Trixie asked as she stood up. 

“I will,” Morgan volunteered, getting up to follow Trixie. 

“Bebe, you wanna talk?”

“Certainly.”

Bebe followed Shangela to the other side of the room and Ben was left alone on the couch. If it had been season six, she would be fighting like hell to stay on, but on All Stars Three…it just didn’t really seem to matter as much. Sure, she wanted to win, but at the same time, she felt like she already had won. She’d wanted a second chance to prove herself and she’d done that. She’d won five out of seven challenges and done things she hadn’t thought she could, so if it was her time to go, she was okay with that. 

“Hey,” Morgan greeted, sitting back down next to her with a sigh. “She wants to talk to you.”

She went over and sat down in front of Trixie, slightly surprised at just how awkward and upset she looked. 

“Well… I guess hell has frozen over.”

“Look, I just want you to do what you think is fair and what you think is right. I’m not gonna ask for any special treatment because of my track record. I just want you to also consider that Morgan hasn’t had as much of a chance to prove herself and Bebe has had the chance. I’m not telling you what you should od, I’m just…pointing it out.”

Trixie just looked at her for a moment before saying, “Yeah, but Morgan got to pick the roles. She chose to give herself the hardest part.”

“But doesn’t that say something about how willing to take risks she is? Look, again, I’m not trying to tell you what to do, I just think that Bebe’s had more of a chance to prove herself and she hasn’t done that.” She leaned a bit closer to Trixie. “Look, you know how hard it is to come back into the competition, you know how frustrating it is to not do as well as you want and end up in the bottom. Morgan just needs the chance that you got to find your footing.”

Trixie thought for a moment before nodding. “Heard and understood. I’ll take it into consideration.” She glanced at the sofas and then looked back at Ben. “Wanna send over Bebe?”

Ben sent Bebe over to Trixie and then told Shangela essentially the same thing she’d told the other queen. She didn’t care if she got eliminated, she just didn’t want Morgan to. She’d had a chance to show what she could do—Morgan hadn’t. And she deserved that chance. She was such an amazing queen and person, but because she’d been on season two, not as many people knew who she was. 

After Ben, Bebe, and Morgan had left the room so Trixie and Shangela could change and pick their lipsticks, Ben noticed Morgan looking at her with a weird combination of gratitude and resignation. 

“This doesn’t mean you’re going home,” she told her. “They could just as well not pick you.”

“Well, there’s no way in hell they’re sending you home and I got the harshest critiques. And there’s the curse of the returning queens that says we go home the very next episode after we get back.”

“It does seem the most likely that they will both pick you to leave,” Bebe chimed in. “As you said, you did have the worst performance and I don’t believe I did anything wrong really with mine.”

“Well, I know I sucked and I’ve accepted that I’m gonna go home. Sorry that you wasted your save,” she added in a lower voice, looking intently at Ben. 

“No, Morgan.” She placed a hand on Morgan’s and returned her gaze. “I did not waste anything. There is no one I would rather have brought back. And not because I felt bad for sending you home, but because you are fierce. You’re not the first one to struggle with coming back to the competition and you won’t be the last. But there is a reason RuPaul asked you to come back for All Stars. And if you believed in yourself half as much as she believes in you and half as much as I believe in you, then you would truly be a super star.”

Morgan smiled a slow, shaky smile, her eyes shimmering. “You know, umm… If we weren’t both wearing make-up right now, I would kinda wanna kiss you.”

Ben returned her smile. “I would like that.”

“Umm, if you are going to continue talking like this, I would appreciate it if you went somewhere else.”

Ben and Morgan looked over at Bebe, who looked back at them and shrugged. Morgan looked down at Ben’s hand on hers and gave a small chuckle. “Thank you… Ben.” She looked back up into Ben’s eyes and she only just then noticed how beautiful Morgan’s eyes were. 

“Of course.” She gave Morgan’s hand a gentle squeeze. “And tonight, after you don’t get eliminated…you can kiss me if you still want to.”

She smiled wider and chuckled again. “If I don’t get eliminated, I will definitely still want to.”

\-------------------------------------

Shangela won the lip sync and sent Bebe home and Ben couldn’t help but feel elated and a bit smug. Not only was she going to the finale of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Three, but Morgan was going with her and she’d been right. Morgan wasn’t going anywhere. At least not for now. 

“Ladies, we are the top four. We are going to the finale,” Trixie enthused once they’d sat down on the couches. 

“Yaaas!” Shangela cheered. “My question, though, is who’s about to Showgirls a hoe and throw their beads on the ground?”

“Oh, I will for sure,” Morgan said seriously before laughing and the rest of them laughed with her. 

“Okay, let’s get out of drag,” Trixie said. 

Shangela nodded in agreement. “Let’s get out of drag!”

They all got up and went to their separate spots so they could de-drag in semi-private. 

Ben had wiped off the last of her make-up and was about to pull her pants on when she heard Morgan call “DeLa.”

She turned and Morgan—still shirtless—came up to her, took her face in both hands, and kissed her deeply, eliciting loud “Ooooh”s from Trixie and Shangela. 

Even though they’d sort of talked about kissing earlier, Ben hadn’t really been expecting Morgan to actually kiss her. Not that she was complaining. Her knees went wobbly and she wrapped her arms around the back of Morgan’s neck to keep herself from falling down. Morgan’s hands moved to Ben’s waist and held him tightly and Ben could feel just how much he wanted him. 

Ben pulled away so he could catch his breath and Morgan pressed their foreheads together, also breathing heavily. 

“Yes! You owe me twenty bucks.”

Ben and Morgan looked over at the other two and saw Trixie doing a little victory dance and Shangela walking back to her stuff. 

“Were you guys betting on how long we would make out for?” Morgan asked, his voice remarkably steady, his arms still around Ben’s bare waist. 

“No, we were betting on who would need to breathe first,” Trixie replied, smirking wildly at them, arms folded across her chest.

“And goddamn, that took a while,” Shangela added, walking back over to Trixie with money in her hand. “Y’all’re some thirsty hoes.”

Trixie took the bills and put them in the pocket of her jeans. “Well, being here is like being on man withdrawal. People are gonna get more horny than they normally do.”

“Mm-hmm. Well, I think we should all go back to our rooms since Miss Morgan and Miss DeLa clearly want some alone time.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty clear how big your thirst is,” Sarge the producer remarked with a smirk. 

Ben blushed and let go of Morgan and Morgan smirked at everyone while they laughed. 

“Are we even allowed to kai kai tonight?” Morgan asked Sarge, not even trying to cover up his obvious hard on. 

“Technically, no, but if one of you just happens to be extra sneaky, it’s not like we’re gonna send you home for it.”

“Well, whatever y’all decide to do, I’m out. You comin’, Trix-a-licious?”

“Yeah. I really just wanna sleep.”

Trixie and Shangela left the workroom and after they finished getting dressed, Ben and Morgan followed them, the crew busy wrapping things up. When they were partway down a hallway, Morgan stopped Ben with a hand on her arm, her voice low. 

“Hey. Um, did you…? Did you want…? Um…”

“Do I want to meet up tonight in one of our rooms?” Ben offered, mildly surprised to see Morgan so hesitant and flustered.

He actually blushed a bit and his eyes flickered up to Ben’s, his expression slightly sheepish. “Yeah.”

Ben couldn’t help the smile that spread across his entire fade. “Absolutely. Do you have a preference for what time and whose room?”

Morgan thought for a moment, his fingers moving forward to twine with Ben’s. “How ‘bout eight so it’s after dinner, but not too late and would your room be okay? Mine’s kind of a mess.”

“Yeah, that..that sounds perfect.” Ben could feel flutters of excitement in his stomach and he was so happy and eager that he almost wanted to laugh. 

Morgan smiled wider and Ben marveled at how soft and sweet he looked. “Great. Um…”

“We should probably get back to our rooms.”

“Right.”

They went back to their rooms without letting go of each other’s hands and when they had to separate, Morgan gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek, leaving him even more excited for that night. 

\------------------------------------------

Ben felt like Juliet waiting for Morgan to appear and when there was finally a knock on his door, he practically leapt at the door. Almost the second the door was open wide enough, Morgan was taking his face in both hands and kissing him ferociously. He pushed him backwards slightly and Ben maneuvered his body so he could push the door closed. As if in response to the sound, Morgan pushed his back against the door and attacked his neck with his mouth, his hands going all over Ben’s torso. 

Ben moaned deeply and closed his eyes, his hands sliding up the back of Morgan’s t-shirt to grip at his bare shoulders. He could feel his heart pounding and his cock throbbing and when Morgan slid his hands between Ben’s legs, he raised one leg to Morgan’s hips so they would both have a better angle. 

Morgan bit down on his neck and squeezed his dick at the same time and Ben moaned way louder than he meant to, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He shoved Morgan’s shirt up his shoulders and the other man pulled away long enough to pull off both it and Ben’s t-shirt. Morgan started going for his neck again, but Ben moved his head so their mouths connected, Morgan’s tongue immediately going into his mouth. He moaned again when Morgan squeezed his cock through his sweatpants again and he raised his leg higher, trying to ignore the burn in his other leg so he could get his crotch as close as possible to Morgan’s. 

The other man’s hands moved to his ass, squeezed it a bit, and then pulled his legs up so they were wrapped around his waist, his arms going around the back of Morgan’s neck. He pulled away so he could catch his breath and Morgan went to the other side of his neck, causing Ben to moan long and deep. He felt Morgan’s arms and hands flex on his legs and ass and he was suddenly being carried away from the door, Morgan barely breathing hard. 

Morgan almost threw him onto the bed and tore off his sweatpants and his own briefs before climbing on top of him, their hot, hard dicks rubbing deliciously against each other. Morgan spent some time just holding himself over Ben and rolling his hips, their precum acting like lube so their cocks could move faster. Ben loved the sensation, but he needed more. It had been too long since he’d had sex and he didn’t want to cum before Morgan was even inside him. 

“Morgan,” he panted, his hands running almost desperately across Morgan’s back, sides, ass, and hair. “Please. I need you inside me.”

Morgan looked into his eyes for a moment, panting heavily, his pupils blown, before nodding jerkily and swallowing. “Yeah. Do you have—?”

Ben nodded. “Duffel bag. Top of the closet. Right side pocket.”

Morgan bounded off the bed and almost jumped into the closed closet door. He shakily opened it, scrambled for the bag, and grabbed the lube and a condom from the pocket. 

Ben flipped over onto his knees and elbows, one hand stroking his cock, and a moment later felt one of Morgan’s fingers pressing against his hole. 

“Skip it,” he panted. “I’m fine. I just need you inside me, Morgan. Please.”

“God, you’re so fucking hot.”

He felt the tip of Morgan’s lubed cock against his hole and he felt the slow push as his hole was spread open. Once his cock had gotten past the first ring of muscle, it slid in quick and smooth and Ben gasped, shivered, and moaned at how amazing it felt. 

“Is that good? Are you okay?”

Ben nodded and moaned again, his eyes closed. “Yeah. Keep going. Fuck me, please.”

Morgan started moving in and out of him and was soon pounding him so hard that the headboard was slamming against the wall. Ben’s heart was pounding and he knew that his moans and gasps were really loud, but he just didn’t care. All he cared about was Morgan’s dick in his ass, Morgan’s hands digging into his hips, Morgan’s moans and voice above him, and his own hand frantically stroking his own cock. 

“I’m gonna cum! Fuck, I’m gonna cum!”

Almost right after Ben stopped speaking, his hips spasmed and his body shook and his cock squirted onto the white bedsheet. Morgan kept fucking him for a bit before his body jerked and shivered. He moaned and shook and slowly pulled out of Ben, collapsing beside him. He pulled off the condom, tossed it in the little trashcan beside the bed, and looked at the ceiling, breathing heavily. 

Ben cuddled up to Morgan, resting his head on his chest, and sighed deeply, smiling softly when he felt Morgan’s arm curl around his body. He just laid there for a while, his ear on Morgan’s hairless chest, listening to his gradually slowing heart. 

“What’s your real name?” he asked without looking up at Morgan. 

He felt Morgan move a bit like he’d been drifting off. “Mm. Thomas. Thomas White.”

“Did people ever call you Tommy growing up?”

Thomas chuckled a bit and Ben felt his warm breath on his head. “All the time. Especially in Scotland. Kids always called me Tommy and so did my mom, but grown-ups mostly called me Thomas.”

“Do you have a preference?” He looked up at Thomas and his heart skipped at how completely soft and sweet and open he looked. 

Thomas gave him a sweet, gentle smile. “No, I don’t really have a preference. Unless it’s my mom, I’m used to Thomas, but I respond to either. And I’m guessing that your real name is Ben?”

“Benjamin Putnam,” he confirmed. 

Thomas’ smile widened a bit and he started gently stroking up and down Ben’s back with his fingertips. “Why’d you decide to use your real name in your drag name?”

Ben shrugged, his eyes on one of Thomas’ nipples, fingers idly circling it. “When I created DeLa, it was my way of dealing with my depression. She was—and is—the happy side of me blown up into a person. She’s always been a literal part of me and I wanted to show that in the name I gave her.” He looked back up at Thomas, his chin on the other man’s chest. “What about you? Why’d you pick Morgan McMichaels?”

He gave a one-shoulder shrug. “Chad Michaels is my drag mother and I wanted to pay tribute to my Scottish heritage. Nothing really special about it.”

“I think everyone’s story is special in some way.”

“You’re sweet,” Thomas chuckled, leaning forward to give Ben a kiss on the forehead.

Ben smiled and looked back down and they were silent for a minute before Thomas said, “Okay, I need blankets.”

Ben laughed, they got settled in the same position, and were silent again. Ben was comforted by the steady beat of Thomas’ heart, the rise and fall of his chest, his fingertips on his side, the warmth of his body and presence. He hadn’t felt that happy, that truly happy, in a long time and he was mildly surprised by just how completely relaxed he was. All he wanted to do was fall asleep in Thomas’ arms and wake up in his arms. He wanted to live with him and wake up in the morning and kiss a little and have breakfast together and then cuddle on a sofa in front of a roaring fireplace before going out and performing together. But he knew he couldn’t have that. At least not now. They both had more work to do. Maybe after the competition. 

“You asleep?”

He smiled and chuckled at the soft voice above him and looked up at Thomas. “I was just about to ask you the same thing.”

Thomas smiled and reached out to grab something before throwing up his hands and sighing. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I was about to ask Siri how long it takes to get from Seattle to Ontario, California,” he explained with another one-shoulder shrug. 

“Oh. Well, at least they’re on the same coast,” Ben offered. 

“That’s true. And flights are always an option.” He looked back down at Ben. “That is, if you still wanna stay in touch after this.”

“Oh, of course, I do. And you are more than welcome to come and stay with me at my place anytime.”

“Same goes for you if you ever want some place warmer.”

“Thank you, Thomas,” Ben said with as much genuine sincerity as he could possibly put into his voice.

“Thank you, Benjamin,” he replied with equal emotion.

Ben snuggled back into his chest and sighed with contentment. He knew that Thomas probably wouldn’t stay the night, and even if he did, they couldn’t stay there forever, but for the time being, he was content to just enjoy the time with Thomas that he had. 

\-----------------------------------------

“Morgan, I think we should change your name to Picasso because those hickies on DeLa’s neck are literal artwork,” Trixie remarked the next morning when they all sat down at a table. 

Shangela cackled and Ben blushed, putting her elbow on the table and attempting to casually cover the marks with her hand. She looked over at Thomas and he smirked lovingly at her. She smiled back and blushed again. 

“You know,” Shangela said once she was done laughing, “even if I hadn’t known that you two would be having a little kai kai, I would’ve known pretty damn quick ‘cause y’all bitches is loud. I’m serious,” she continued as Trixie burst out laughing and Thomas snickered. “I could barely hear myself think with all that bangin’ and moanin’.”

“I just wanna know who topped and who bottomed.”

“I bet you do,” Thomas said to Trixie, a devious gleam in his eyes.

“DeLa was totally the bottom,” Shangela declared with certainty. 

“But, girl, it’s always the quiet ones,” Trixie countered. “I can totally see DeLa being, like, a top. Or a power bottom.”

“Well, even if she was a power bottom, she’d still be a bottom.”

“Should we bet on it?”

“You guys can bet all you want, but we’re not gonna tell you anything,” Ben told them, Thomas’ arms going around her shoulders. 

“Yeah, we’re not the kind of people to kiss and tell.”

“No, you’re more the kind to scream and tell.”

The alarm from the screen kept either of them from responding to Shangela and they all four went to the front of the room, Thomas still holding onto Ben.

If RuPaul noticed the hickies on Ben’s neck, which she no doubt did, she thankfully didn’t mention them. Ben wasn’t embarrassed, she just had more important things to focus on. Like the absolutely incredible challenge that Ru had in mind for them. Ben was super excited and was even happier every time she looked over at Thomas to see him doing well. She would put her all into the challenge, but she also wouldn’t be devastated if she lost. She was proud of what she’d been able to achieve and she’d even found Thomas in all of it. She really didn’t need anything else. 

That said, she also wasn’t gonna just wing it. She tried her hardest and kept her focus in rehearsals, recording, and choreography and, at times, she caught Thomas looking over at her with a look of pride that made her heart soar. She knew that she was doing well and she also knew that Thomas was doing well and the other two were, as well. She couldn’t wait to perform the lipsync and she knew it would be epic. The only thing she was concerned about was what the eliminated queens would be doing. She didn’t know if they would be dancers or judges or what and it freaked her out not to know. She wished RuPaul wouldn’t have so many gosh darn secrets. 

\------------------------------------------------

“How do you think rehearsals went?” Thomas asked that night in Ben’s room after they’d made love again. 

Ben moved around a bit on Thomas’ chest. “I think it went well. I really like what I did, I really like what you did. Shangela and Trixie did really well, too,” she added, looking up at him. 

“Well, yeah, Shangela especially is a fucking star. If Ru has the top two lip sync against each other and she’s not in the top two with you, I’m gonna fucking call bullshit.”

“Well, what about you? Don’t you think you have a chance of being in the top two?”

Thomas gave a breathy chuckle. “Fat chance. You’ve been killing basically every challenge and Shangela’s been right behind you. But I’m fine with that,” he added emphatically. “I’m proud of what I’ve done and I wouldn’t do anything different… Except maybe look at the audience more in the first challenge.”

Ben laughed with him and snuggled closer, sighing in contentment. “What do you think the eliminated queens are gonna be doing tomorrow?”

“No idea. Maybe they’ll be judging.”

Ben uttered a noise of distaste. “That just seems like a recipe for a lot of personal vendettas to come out.”

“It really does. I hope it doesn’t happen.”

“Me too… Thomas?” he asked hesitantly. 

“Yeah?”

“What are we? Or, I mean, what will we be after this? Will we be boyfriends?”

“I was kind of thinking of us as boyfriends now, to be honest.”

Ben looked up at him in surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah. Is that okay? ‘Cause I can stop thinking that if you’d rather not have that label.”

“No, I… I like it. I’m glad that you do.” He laid his cheek back on Thomas’ chest and contemplated it for a moment. “Boyfriends,” he said dreamily. 

“Don’t tell me I’m the first boyfriend you’ve ever had,” Thomas said playfully.

“No, you’re not, I just… I always love getting into a new relationship. It’s so sweet and romantic.”

“Well, hopefully we’ll be able to hold onto that for a good long while.”

“Hopefully,” Ben agreed, starting to drift off.

“Should I go now?”

He clung tighter to Thomas, his eyes staying closed. “No. Stay.”

“Okay. But I’m getting up early to go change and shower.”

“Deal,” Ben sighed before drifting off to sleep.

\------------------------------------------------ 

The next day, their performance went off without a hitch, but they were all shook when RuPaul told them the eliminated queens would be picking a top two. Ben was all for democracy, but the whole jury thing just seemed like unnecessary drama. It wasn’t like the eliminated queens would actually be impartial. For all she knew, they would deliberately not pick her even though she’d objectively done the best. How would that be fair? She knew they were being given a chance to plead their cases, but it still didn’t feel completely fair. 

She was the first to go talk to the other girls and as she walked in and sat in the throne, she honestly felt kind of nervous. She’d eliminated some of them, and most of the others, she’d chosen to not bring back. Aja looked fairly impartial and Chi Chi and Kennedy looked pretty okay with what happened, but Thorgy and Milk were looking at her like they wanted to tear her apart and have the crown for themselves and Bebe just looked like she couldn’t be bothered. 

“So DeLa,” Aja started with an air of business. “Your whole thing is that you’re really kind and selfless and optimistic—”

“She’s Miss Congeniality,” Thorgy interrupted, a hint of derision in her voice.

“Right, you’re Miss Congeniality,” Aja continued in a neutral tone. “How much of that is really and how much of it is an act for TV or an act for us or other people?”

Ben took a breath and looked at the other queen. “Well, um, it’s never my intention to be anything I’m not. DeLa is my optimistic side, she is me, and during the times when I’m not feeling so great, I use her as a way to cope with what I’m feeling in that moment. I never try to put on an act for anyone else, but I do sometimes put on an act for myself until I genuinely do have that feeling of kindness and optimism. No, I don’t feel like chronically optimistic all the time, or even most of the time, but it’s how I want to feel more often and DeLa helps me with that.”

Aja nodded in understanding, her expression serious. 

“One thing I wanna know,” Thorgy said, “is why you chose Morgan to come back. The rest of us showed more talent than she did.”

“But that’s why I hose her. You guys had a second chance to show the world who you are and what you can do. Morgan didn’t get that chance. And being from season two, she was relatively unknown. Tatianna got the chance to showcase her talents to a whole new audience and I really just felt like Morgan deserved it too.”

“Even though you were the one who eliminated her in the first challenge,” Thorgy reminded her. 

“Yeah, if you really thought she deserved a chance, why’d you kick her off?” Milk asked. 

Ben took another deep breath. “I don’t know, I guess is the short answer. I suppose that in that moment, I felt like Morgan had gotten harsher critiques than the other two and I wasn’t at the time focused on keeping people who hadn’t had as much of a chance to shine. But in the kitty girl challenge, I really saw that Morgan had a lot more to offer and I wanted to see it.”

“Well, I just wanna say that I’m proud of you,” Chi Chi told her. “I know it was hard for you when Morgan came for you and I know how hard you’ve been working and I just want you to know that I love you and I think you’re amazing.”

“Aw, thank you, Chi Chi. I love you too,” she said with a sincere smile. 

“Yeah, I don’t think anyone here can argue the fact that you’re really talented,” Kennedy added. “I mean, you’re the only one who was in the top of almost every challenge. 

Aja looked down at Bebe. “Bebe, you got anything to add?”

Bebe looked at her and then at all of them like she was coming out of some fantasy of people worshiping her. “Hmm? Oh, no, I’ve nothing to add. I think Morgan should have been eliminated instead of me, but that’s nothing to do with DeLa.”

Aja looked back at Ben. “In that case, I guess you can go.”

Ben stood up and gave a little curtsie. “Well, thank you for hearing me out and I hope you made the right decision.”

“Bye, DeLa! We love you!” they called after her. 

She replied, left the room, and Abby the producer guided her around backstage to where Trixie and Shangela were sitting on the three couches in the Untucked area. 

“Where’s Morgan?”

“They took her away to meet her fate,” Trixie answered as Ben sat down. “I’m after her and Shangela’s last.”

“Savin’ the best for last,” Shangela remarked.

“If they were doing that, then DeLa would’ve gone last.”

Shangela laughed and Ben just smiled shakily and didn’t say anything. She was worried. With what the other queens had said and asked, it really didn’t seem like they would pick Morgan for the top two. Especially with Bebe being jealous of Morgan. If she thought about it objectively, though, really thought about it, it would make sense for herself and Shangela to be the top two. But, then again, the eliminated queens could purely go off of their own personal preferences and just picked who they liked instead of who had the best track record. Although Aja seemed like she would judge fairly and so did Chi Chi and Kennedy. Was that enough, though, to make the right choice? And what was the right choice?

She felt a hand slide into hers and looked up to see Thomas sitting beside her and Trixie gone. 

“You okay?” he asked her. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. You?”

“Not super confident, but I’m okay. Didn’t think I was gonna get in the top two, anyway.”

“You might.”

Thomas looked at her skeptically. “Do you think so? I mean, honestly, do you really think so?”

Ben started to speak and then hesitated as she looked into his eyes. She didn’t think so. As much as she wanted Thomas to succeed, she didn’t think he would be in the top. And she didn’t want to lie to him about it.”

“Thought not,” he said easily as she slowly closed her mouth. 

Ben looked over at Shangela and the other queen looked back at her. There was a recognition in her eyes that they were most likely going to be the top two and Ben saw a fierce determination in her eyes and knew she would have to fight heart to beat Shangela in a lipsync. But she was ready. She’d made it that far and she wanted to win. She loved Shangela and would be happy for her if she won, but she wanted the crown and the money and the place in the Hall of Fame. She wanted it. She was going to have it. 

\---------------------------------------------

“Madame Floorwoman,” RuPaul said to Chi Chi once they were all back on the runway, “has the jury chosen the final two All Stars to lipsync for their legacy?”

“Yes, Ru,” Chi Chi replied. 

“Chi Chi, you may tell the queens who you and the jury have chosen to lipsync for their legacy.”

“Well, we tallied up the votes and the top two All Stars are…” She held up one of the pink lipsticks. “BenDeLaCreme.” 

Ben felt an incredible rush of relief and almost fell to her knees. 

“And…” Chi Chi continued, holding up the other lipstick. “Shangela.”

Shangela brought her hands together and bent her head to her hands. She looked like she was close to crying and even though Ben needed to beat her, she still felt truly happy for the other queens. 

“Morgan. Trixie,” RuPaul said to the other two queens. “I’m sorry my dears, but this is not your time. You are and will always be All Stars.”

“Thank you,” they both muttered. 

“Please step to the back of the stage.”

As he passed, Thomas hugged Ben tightly and whispered, “I know you can do it,” into her ear before squeezing her hand and going to the back of the stage. 

“DeLa. Shangela. The top two All Stars of the season stand before me. Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me, win one hundred thousand dollahs, a crown and scepter from Fierce Drag Jewels, and earn your place in the Drag Race Hall of Fame. The time has come for you to lipsync for your legacy. Good luck and don’t fuck it up.”

\---------------------------------------------------

6 Months Later

Ben and Thomas were at Queer Bar, watching the finale on a giant flatscreen from modest thrones and holding hands. Ben would’ve preferred to watch it at home, cuddled up together on a couch, but she knew she had a duty to watch it at a club with her friends. Besides, she and Thomas had already watched most of the episodes alone together since he came up to Seattle a couple of months ago. 

She watched herself lipsync against Shangela and was genuinely amazed by just how incredible Shangela’s performance was. With her balloons and her piñata, Ben honestly thought she was going to win. And she was okay with that. As she watched herself, she remembered how she’d felt in that moment, the determination and need to win. She didn’t feel that anymore. She would like to win, but she was okay with whatever happened. She had won several challenges and gotten her prizes and had Thomas by her side. She felt like she’d already won. 

“The winner…” RuPaul said on the TV, “of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season Three…is… BenDeLaCreme.”

The entire club exploded in cheers and applause and confetti and balloons and Thomas reached over and hugged her tightly. She could feel tears in her eyes and when they separated, she attempted to wipe away her tears without smudging her make-up. Someone came up to the pedestal she and Thomas were sitting and presented her with a huge and beautiful bouquet of flowers. She stood up shakily, her face almost split by her smile, and accepted the bouquet, mouthing “Thank you” over and over to her fans, waving, and blowing kisses. Her heart felt like it would explode with joy and when she looked back, she saw Thomas standing and applauding with everyone else, his own mouth stretched by a wide smile. She held out her hand and Thomas accepted it, letting her pull him beside her so they could both bask in the love and the victory.


End file.
